[Roger] Ailes mentioned that he'd heard that "MSNBC had allegedly set up a small team to seek our more conservative, populist stories." He also noted that MSNBC had "failed" with Chris Matthews. Ailes: "If Chris Matthews worked for me, he'd be doing better. ... I wouldn't let him answer everybody's question for them. He asks the question. Then he answers it. Then he asks you what you thinks of his answer. Then he goes on to another question. At some point, he's got to let the guest answer. I'd say 'Chris, if you don't shut the f--- up I'm going to fire you."

New York Times' Rutenberg reports on ex-Pres Clinton aide Sydney Blumenthal's new book "The Clinton Wars" containing an account of MSNBC's Chris Matthews lobbying the WH "to succeed" Dee Dee Myers. Matthews, according to Mr. Blumenthal, "then 'turned into a detractor of Clinton,' though he draws no direct connection to the supposed failed job hunt." The implication "bothers" Matthews because, "he has told people at NBC News and elsewhere, it is simply not true." Ex-Clinton CoS Leon Panetta said he did, indeed, speak with" Matthews "about the job, which came open in 1994." Panetta: "It was not by any means him calling me and lobbying for the job. ... I was calling him to check out his interest." Myers: "I find it a little bit unlikely .... If he was doing it, it's the first I've ever heard of it." Blumenthal "stands by his story" citing "numerous sources, several of my White House colleagues." More Blumenthal: "This was not a deep, dark secret." Matthews "would not comment publicly on the matter" (5/19).

"SNL" opened this weekend with an episode of "Hardball." Guests were: WH CoS "Andrew Card," the Rev. "Al Sharpton" and Sen. "Rick Santorum" (R-PA):
MSNBC's "Matthews": "Welcome back to 'Hardball,' I'm Chris Matthews. President Bush declares that those responsible this week's attack in Saudi Arabia will be hunted down and given a dose of American justice. Is it me or is this administration starting to sound like an episode of 'Walker, Texas Ranger?' I haven't seen a guy this cocky since Ruben from 'American Idol' at a waffle eating contest. As the election season heats up the question becomes, is Bush unstoppable? Or do the Democrats have a David for this Goliath? Joining us tonight White House Chief of Staff Andrew Card."
"Card": "Thanks for having me Chris."
"Matthews": "Whatever you said shut it. Also joining us a man that has more track suits than the wardrobe department of the 'Sopranos,' Democratic Presidential hopeful and political train wreck, Al Sharpton."
"Sharpton": "I've got some good stuff for you today Chris."
"Matthews": "Good, but just on principle I'm going to tell you to zip it. Mr. Card we'll start with you, do you see any Republican weaknesses heading into the 2004 campaign?"
"Card": "Absolutely not. Just look at President Bush's recent accomplishments. He piloted that fighter jet all by himself and landed on the aircraft carrier. People love that. He single handily caught Saddam Hussein and Osama bin Laden and made them wrestle each other in a cage match. Two years ago he came up with the idea for 'Joe Millionaire.' He's amazing.
"Matthews": "And does it bother you that none of that is true?"
"Card": "Look Chris, if it doesn't bother Karl Rove, it doesn't bother me."
"Matthews": "Al Sharpton, what is your strategy for battling such a popular incumbent?"
"Sharpton": "It's going to be easy, look who I'm running against. Edwards, Kerry, Gephardt -- nobody knows those dudes.
"Matthews": "What about Bush, how you going to beat him?"
"Sharpton": "What? Bush can run again? [looks off to the side] Come on Garry, come on, man. You got to let me know about these things."
"Matthews": "Sharpton campaign, right about where we all thought it would be. Andrew Card, what would the Democrats have to do to have a chance?"
"Card": "Well the Democrats biggest problem is that no one recognizes their candidates. They need someone that is universally adored. The only shot they have is to lower the voting age to six and nominate Sponge Bob Square Pants. ... Chris, not even Jesus Christ would run against George Bush, because as the Bible clearly states, Jesus was a Republican."
"Matthews": "Nice, that's a good crazy boy. Our next guest is doing the best he can to help Democrats win. ... Please welcome the man who put the 'idiot' into 'He's an idiot,' Republican Senator Rick Santorum. ... Senator do you think your controversial remarks will hurt President Bush in 2004?"
"Santorum": "Chris, I was taken out of context. When I said gay sex was as bad as man on dog sex, I meant man on male dog. Sex between a human male and a female dog I have no problem with."
"Matthews": "Good lord this is better than I thought, keep going."
"Santorum": "I have no problem with gay people. I like Liberace, I like George Michael, I even like that gay teletubby. I just don't like it when Liberace, George Michael, and the gay teletubby have sex with each other."
"Matthews": "Don't stop Santorum, one more time."
"Santorum": "Chris I'm not asking much. All I'm asking is for every American male get a tattoo on his fanny that reads: Exit Only"
("SNL", NBC, 5/17, transcript from National Journal's The Hotline)